I Blame Bukowski

I, personally, blame Bukowski for the state of our creativity culturally. I said what I said.

If you’re a word nerd, or a fan of the beat era of poetry (despite his apparent disdain for the movement) you may be familiar with the works of Bukowski. Growing up, my representation of what creativity looked like in practice was clouded by this idea of what I (and probably others, definitely not taking credit for this term) call ‘muse creativity’. It pairs really well with this idea that we have to suffer for our art. Liz Gilbert, author of Big Magic and Eat Pray Love, refers to this as a ‘creative contract of suffering’.

"This is the contract that says, I shall destroy myself and everyone around me in an effort to bring forth my inspiration, and my martyrdom shall be the badge of my creative legitimacy.”

For a long time, this is what I assumed it meant to be an artist. That I was to wait — for the ever elusive inspiration to strike. That I was beholden to this mysterious, always just out of reach… tether to the ether of creativity. Where all ideas and magic live, and are funnelled to only a select, very special few. These very few were imbued with an innate talent, a special eye, an understanding that differed from the rest. This concept bled throughout the era(s) of angsty artist — where we learned that to be an artist was to be a certain level of tortured, unhappy, misunderstood, and almost resentful of our work. To be an artist was to perpetually self-sacrifice and to suffer. This is exemplified in one of Bukowskis more popular works entitled, ‘so you want to be a writer?’. Which is, in effect, a lengthy piece on how if creativity doesn’t pour out of you like a never ending spring of water, you ought not to do it.

What. Terrible. Advice.

“If it doesn’t come bursting out of you, in spite of everything, don’t do it.” He said. “…and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you.” What absolute garbage. Thanks Charles, for teaching an entire generation that creativity was an elite club (of mostly white dudes), to be executed only one way. Because, you know what I hear over and over and over again from people around me that think creativity is a whimsical thing you have to be born with in order to do?

“I wish I had the talent.” And then, dear reader, my eyes roll so far back into my skull I have a brief moment where I worry that they may get stuck there. Creativity, speaking as someone who has danced with 6,000 creative mediums over her lifetime, is everything BUT talent. I have always said and will continue to say until my LAST DAY, that creativity is really more:

5% Talent
5% Dumb Fuckin’ Luck (literally right place, right time)
90% Consistency & Practice

There will always be a small subset of humans that seem to walk out of the womb holding a paintbrush. But for the vast majority of us, creativity just does not work like that. Creativity, is a practice. A muscle. Just like anything else. Just like exercise, playing instruments, learning to ride a bike. It’s showing up, over and over again. Day after day. Even when you don’t want to. Even when all you pump out is ‘certifiable garbage’. Even when you don’t sell any of it. Even when you’re on your 5th existential crisis of the day. Consistency, is key.

This art was generated by AI

I told myself that once I got over the first difficult hump of a specific discipline, the first challenge, the first, ‘wow I am not good and I should set everything on fire’ moment, that it would be S M O O T H sailing from there. HA. What a joke that notion is. The creative drive is up, and down, plateaus, goes beneath the graph entirely, goes onto a new graph, goes backwards — all the time. For like, ever. The more that I do the consistent creative thing, the less dramatic my graph swings are, but it’s never one way. It’s dramatic as hell — but what it isn’t, is some untameable beast that you need a special talent in order to dance with.

So… yes you can. Seriously. You can.

It doesn’t need to pour out of you. It doesn’t need to be something you must do or else you’ll become a hollow shell of yourself. It doesn’t need to be a thing that comes at the expense of literally everything else in your life. It ALSO doesn’t need to define you. (I tell myself this over and over and maybe one day it’ll stick.)

It can be cultivated. Learned. Sourced. It can be taught, and then redefined however you want. It’s whatever honours you. Because for me, that’s the point of creativity above all else. That which honours you — which provides room for expression without self destruction. While I love a good rebirth arc, a good tortured unrequited love poetry spell, there is no rule book that says it HAS to be that way.

Every time you engage with creativity (or anything really), on your own terms in a way that works for you without self-sacrifice, you cultivate the fertile ground for the humans around you to do the same. You show the next generation of creative beings that it’s not actually a requirement to do a daily walk through hell in order to be a creative person. While I wish we lived in a society that provided the room and ability for more humans to explore their creativity and innovation, there is still a way to engage this process.

For literally anyone. I promise.